Spinsterhood Is Powerful

The Great American Money Funnel

But We Can Add On to It

I Swear I Don't Have an Extra Cigarette

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Every Mark's Middle Name

Electromagnesia Banishes Dr. Thanatos and Calomel

Survivalists Await the Breaking of the Sixth Seal

The Depredations of Romanticism Reduce the Goddess of Reason to Selling Soap

Burn Your Ouija Board

Solution to the Problem of Nuclear Waste: Sell It.

Scientist Confirms His Faithless Girlfriend Does Have a Heart

I Will Show You Fear in a Handful of Dandruff

Lifted from Behind the Hedge of the Teeth, He Sees His Cosmic Destiny

Resistance Is Futile

The Gnostic's Quest Begins at Breakfast

Our Giganto Beer Comes with a Side Order of Racial Stereotypes and a Serving of Offensive Caricature

Our Pledge: We Will Add No Mammals to Our Brew

Today's Koan

Candied Snack's Place on the Periodic Table of Food Elements